okay. i'll stop this rubbish. actually yesterday, i went into my boss's office, took out my shoe and started to clobber her. it was just a moment of madness.. her whole body was there lying flat after the incident not moving. i just walked away. i think i killed her.
okay. it dint exactly happen in my boss's office.. it was on the slope up down the hill of my office building. and yes i did kill her with my shoe. but it wasn't exactly my boss either. it was a centipede. and yes the body was there not moving and i walked away to rush home to watch hikaru no go.
and have u ever wondered about those giant foam hands? those things looks so cool. i've never put my own hands into one of those giant foam hands ever before. might wan to try it one of these days. but anyone with any ideas where to get those giant foam hands? can u imagine if i were to slap someoone with a giant foam hand? it would take at least about 5 - 6 faces all placed together before the whole giant foam handprint would show as a full one. but of cos its a giant foam hand. so it would really take a great deal of effort for me to produce even a slight mark on the face of either of the 6 people. and speaking of the 6 people, i think it would be even harder to find 6 people to put their faces together for me to attempt my slap on. so i doubt this aspiration of mine will be fulfilled in the near future.
and sports should be made to be more exciting. seriously. sports are all getting boring. even soccer man. i had to say that. they should come up with ways to make them more exciting. the only exciting sports left is women's beach volleyball. yea. that's the only sports now which makes me wanna go there and watch and support with my giant foam hands.
and tell me.. which one of u watches shooting events?? those that they shoot the flying disc or whatever? i dunno the exact term.. but tell me.. does anyone even care? the best way to make shooting events more hyped up is to make them shoot each other. and not paintball bullets. those are for amateurs. real bullets. this is the real extreme sport man.
high jump and pole vaulting. they should have some electrical shockwave on the pole that they are attempting to jump over... failed attempts and u see them jerking their body or let out a war cry.
basketball. they should devise a sort of basketball which explodes randomly. kobe bryant might be attempting his 360degrees slam dunk and in the middle of him in midair twisting his body for the crowd woo-ing move.. the ball might jus explode suddenly.
or they can event overlap events. shooting and xtreme skate boarding. shooters will camp at about 10km away. and try to shoot down those skaters trying their new stunts. its all the unpredictabilty man. everything that ppl can't expect that will be so fun.
i saw an odd thing while at the 3I central of my office building todae. its this place for ppl to chill and have discussions in the meeting rooms. the main hall will be for ppl to read or jus to relax. A guy was BLASTING the song "In Da Club" by 50 Cent from his handphone right beneath an enormous sign that says, "Please Be Respectful: No Loud Music". And the guy who had duty there walks up to the guy and very politely asks him to turn it down. The guy just shook his head "no". And he did it really casually too. As though someone had asked him if he'd like more coffee or if he has an giant foam hand. As if to say, "No thank you, that request doesn't fit my needs today." I felt so bad for the "guy who asks people to turn down their music when it's too loud" guy. I mean; that's pretty much his only function.
It must be hard for him to go home and tell his kids about what I imagine he's referring to as the "50 Cent: In Da Club" incident. Every time he's out now and hears "In Da Club" he'll immediately get all pissed off. And while all his friends are dancing in the club and yelling over the music, "Hey John or Max or Peter (no idea what name he had) why aren't you shaking ur ass like the rest of us? It's a really easy dance, all you have to do is move. Don't be shy, it's not nearly as complicated as the Macarana, the Lindy Hop or Salsa." And he'll go home alone that night cause he was in too bad a mood to spit magic at the ladies and to impress anyone with the magnificent moves that he had.
next. i wanna talk about an issue. which is on a more serious inclination then the rest of what i have said. and its jus more serious, doesn't mean that i wasn't serious about whatever i have mentioned so far. i was serious too. but this next issue is more serious. it moral courage. ok. i'm talking about when u're queuing up to get your movie tickets and then some person jus decides that it's totally okay to cut into your queue.
there are a few different categories involved here. 1st. if its a totally nerd looking guy with thicker specs then your thighs, most probably we can jus shove him aside right? jus shout 'HEY LOOK THERE!' and when he turns his head, u can jus give him a push to the side and to end it off a kick in the ass would probably send him scrambling a few more metres away. and next will be the act blur aunty or act blur uncle. this might be a little tricky. one wrong move and they might even accuse u of bullying the aged. you wun wan this to happen i promise. they have no shame and loves to make a big fuss of the situation. so the best thing for u to do is to take advantage of their slow reflexes. it's okay that u let them stand in front of u. but when its his/her turn. u jus have to react faster and take a big step cut them and hop towards the ticketing booth. and yes. job well done.
how about the others? these following 2 will be the hardest to deal with. a really hot chick, and someone twice the size of u with muscles bulging out from every possible place. but the 1st one will not really be possible as hot chicks do not, i repeat, do not need to queue for movie tickets let alone cut ur queue. they will jus go up to some loser guy, and ask him to help her buy the tickets. in fact, some very loser guy might even be so bewitched that he might even offer to pay for her tickets. and the guy with the bulging muscles from every possible place? well... i haven really figured out how to deal with it. u might want to try and shove him away. but all u get is the feeling of being a weakling. u might want to try to be nice and say 'excuse me, u jus cut my queue' but u might even be forced to apologize when he jus gives u the 'i know and i dun give a shit, and i want to eat u up' look.
moving on to moral courage in the cinema. people talking loudly on their handphone in the middle of the show. i mean for ur phone to ring is bad enuff. but picking up and having a brady conversation? yea. so if the voice u hear, is of a cock person, who's talking to his friend (i suppose u talk to ur fren over the handphone and not some stranger) about which motherboard he should not get and what program fixes what computer virus.. i give u all the rights to go ahead and give him the 'SSHHHHHHH'
but if the conversation is held in hokkien and regularly punctuated with kaninahs and chaocheebyes... i think it's really best that you let him carry on if he's sitting beside, behind, or jus around u. u can try your luck to give him the 'SSHHHHH' if u're far away, but be prepared for one of his vulgarities to be hurled at u 1st before he continues his conversation.
moral courage. is it measured by the kind of ppl u dare to face? ok. let's say this very very small guy, who can't quarrel to save his own life goes to an aunty and told her she's in his queue. and the aunty den starts to quarrel with him and later threatens to beat the crap out of him. he loses of cos. Being a police officer, i know the laws. and if someone beats u up. but the police did not see it happen. he cannot apprehend the person. and wat if u get beaten up and the person runs off? u might not even see the person ever for the rest of ur life. and the police really wun be bothered to carry out a island wide search for someone who punched u in the face. get my point?
i might be able to put up quite a debate with some aunties with my bullshit and stuffs.. and i certainly can stop ppl from throwing punches at me. even if they threw it at me i will give a couple back.. so does it mean that i have more moral courage? there are some ppl who jus wanna avoid trouble and dun do anything about it and let ppl cut their queue. so does wanting to avoid trouble means lacking in moral courage? which is what? now i'm confusing even myself! damn.....
sorry for this ultra long post. Those that finished reading, i promise u a free meal at a restuarant of your choice. I have made an arrangement with every restuarant in the country. (Except the Crystal Jade in Paragon; those guys bargain hard.) All you have to do is tell them that Bobby Pua said you could have free meal cos u read his blog. If they look at you like, "What the fuck are you talking about?" Don't worry, that's just the code. That look is just so other customers won't try and get free meal. (The owner of this other blog tried to get a similar deal for his audience, but when he tried to negotiate for a free 2nd meal as well, he pissed them off. ) Once you've gotten the look, you are free to eat all the you need. Air is also free... again except at the Crystal Jade in Paragon.
