you'll sing the song
 
you wanna know wat pain feels like?
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
How To Get People To Trust You
taken off http://www.forbes.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lisa Lerer, 09.25.06, 6:00 PM ET

We've all heard betrayal stories: The husband discovers an e-mail between his wife and her boyfriend, the boss catches an employee at lunch with a competitor, the politician lies about, well, everything.

From love to business to politics, trust matters. There's no magic formula to building a trusting relationship. But there are a couple tricks to help you gain trust in a hurry--even if you don't deserve it.

The first step is simple: Seem like someone people trust. Harvard Business School negotiations professor Deepak Malhotra suggests giving references, which can serve as live testimonials to your abilities. Just be sure that your references trust you first.

If you're short on friends, propose setting milestones, says Malhotra. For example, if a client is reluctant to sign an exclusive contract, offer a short-term nonexclusive deal first. After you've proved your competency, your partner will feel more comfortable committing to the exclusive agreement.

Going slowly also helps earn trust in romantic relationships, says dating coach Patty Feinstein, who often advises her clients to keep things casual until they get to know each other better.

Credentials are useless if not backed up with know-how. Philip Reed, consumer advice editor for the automobile shopping Web site Edmonds.com, spent six months undercover as a car salesman at two different dealerships. During his training, the salesmen told him to always have a response to every question. And if you don't know the answer? "Either tap dance around it or make up what you believe to be true," Reed says.

Of course, if the customer discovers you are lying, all trust will be broken. "Car salesmen and real estate agents sometimes overdo it," says Malhotra. In her 2004 study on deception, University of California, Santa Barbara, psychology professor Bella DePaulo found that liars rarely admit mistakes. So, if you want to seem truthful, confess your ignorance. (This tactic didn't work for Reed, who came clean when he couldn't answer a customer's question. The writer-turned-salesman sold only five cars in six months.)

Maybe he should have worn a short-sleeved shirt. Feinstein encourages her clients to bare their forearms and show their palms. Flashing some skin indicates openness and availability. Eye contact is also key. If you're looking away, she says, you seem shifty.

But body language isn't universal: In some African countries, looking your boss in the eye is considered disrespectful. Conscious of these kinds of cultural differences, intelligence agents are trained in local cultural mores before they take a post abroad, says Peter Earnest, director of the Spy Museum in Washington, D.C. Earnest, a 20-year veteran of the CIA's Senior Intelligence Service, believes that trust happens on a subliminal level, so niceties matter.

"They may not know why they don't trust you, but they'll know something is not sitting well with them," he says.

The same idea applies in different business cultures, which often have their own lingo, says Malhotra. Several years ago, an airline invited a bunch of consulting firms to bid on a contract to build a new, high-tech ticketing system, he recalls. Everyone at the meeting was using the word "lifts." Feeling lost, a representative of one firm asked for a definition. The room fell into silent shock. A lift, it turned out, was the standard industry term for a paper ticket. The firm obviously didn't get hired. If you don't understand industry terms and acronyms, says Malhotra, you won't seem trustworthy.

Old-fashioned kissing up can also encourage trust. Feinstein advises her clients to make the object of their affection feel at ease by doing favors, giving compliments and being accommodating.

The key to establishing a long-term connection is consistency. A key part of espionage, says Earnest, is making local informants feel safe in every situation and with everyone in the agency. "If someone else is sloppy," he says, "the source fades away."

Or, to put it more simply: If you want someone's trust, call when you say you're going to call, and show up when you say you're going to show up.

posted by bobby @ 3:09 PM  
5 Comments:
  • At 12:30 PM, Blogger Hazel Donovan said…

    You actually make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this topic to be really something which I think I would never understand. It seems too complicated and extremely broad for me. I’m looking forward to your next post, I will try to get the hang of it!
    old car removal brisbane
    cash for cars logan

     
  • At 2:44 PM, Blogger Max Cash For Cars said…

    Thanks for sharing. We pay our customers instant cash up to $9,999 without any waiting time. It is our policy to not let customers wait for their money. We also provide free towing services, so customers save even more money when dealing with us. This strategy has been a great success with our customers in Queensland. Through this, we gained a lot of goodwill from our customers.
    cash for cars logan
    sell my car brisbane

     
  • At 3:16 PM, Blogger Metalbiz said…

    Truly, this article is really one of the very best in the history of articles. I am a antique ’Article’ collector and I sometimes read some new articles if I find them interesting. And I found this one pretty fascinating and it should go into my collection. Very good work.
    scrap metal logan
    scrap metal ipswich

     
  • At 10:27 AM, Anonymous apluscarremoval said…

    If you have sell broken cars for cash laying around taking up space, why not convert that idle car into some extra cash? Selling broken cars can be a great way to access quick money! With the right resources and help, you'll be able to sell your car and get top dollar for it. Start making money with your sell broken cars for cash today by getting connected with the experts who specialize in buying and selling this type of car. There's no easier or more efficient way to turn what was once an inoperable piece of machinery into extra money.

     
  • At 11:30 AM, Anonymous salisburycarremovals said…

    This is an excellent article. I'm overjoyed to have discovered it. Thank you for providing this information. It's a fascinating read. If you are looking for a reliable and efficient car removal service in Logan, look no further. In this guide, we will provide you with all the information you need to know about car removal Logan, including the benefits of using a professional car removal service, the process of car removal, and the factors to consider when choosing a car removal company.

     
Post a Comment
<< Home
 
About Me

Name: bobby
Home: Dorset, Island, Singapore
About Me: Man in Pain
See my complete profile
Previous Post
Archives
Sing the Song


Scene

Songs

Friends
Waywards



Powered by

Free Blogger Templates

BLOGGER