you'll sing the song
 
you wanna know wat pain feels like?
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
res & exp
Remind me not to bother about young punks again. young punks agree to play a match with you. and later the young punks will back out. the excuse the young punks gave? that they will have to study for their A levels Chinese on the following Monday.

ok. now let us investigate what else is so wrong about cancelling a supposed match that is only 3 days away. First the excuse is the A levels Chinese. Since it is such an 'important' paper, i have a feeling that they might have informed you about the schedule and that date that you would have to sit for it a bit more then a week in advance. They would have probably told you the date about 3 months sgo. i know it. i've been thru it. and although you might argue that everybody in the whole freaking team forgot about the exams albeit the constant nagging of the chinese teacher. i don't see no reason why this shit is happening. brains anybody?


another point. we are talking about the council here. the leaders of the school. the elected people who have been tasked with bringing the school forward. But with this irresponsibility towards others, i might have to think that there might have been some mistakes in the selection of personnels. All being in school.. it is easy to get the message across. you can jus shout across the council room, shout from one end of the canteen to the other, shout from the right side of the principal to the left side. and everyone will be able to know wat's happening.

the best part is everyone's doing the same thing, studying in school. that's the only committment they have. besides being in the council. common goal common destination. but how about us? we are all seperated into different parts of singapore now. all with their own sets of committments. be it exams, hall stuff, work. How easy is it to be able to get everybody down together for us? All they have to do is to meet any day in school. Doesn't really reflect very well on their sense of responsibility and ability to garner trust from others. i do wish that this is not a sign that the council is going down standard wise.

rematch any time u want. make sure you bring ur paramedics when u come along. =)

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expectations.

more often then not, it is your best frens whom make you feel the most disappointed. because they don't regard you as a fren enough? no. it is because of expectations. you expect more from them. you expect that they will be able to help you when you need help. you expect that they will be there for you. you expect that they will be there anytime of the day. you expect that they laugh with you. you expect that they cry with you.

i have jus disappointed my best fren. i was unable to help my best fren whom jus needed a small favour from me. and of cos i have been disappointed before that i know that this feeling sucks. there's this chinese phrase 'xin you yu er li bu zhu' 'heart got fish, strength not enuff' or rather 'you want to do it, but you are unable to get it done' yea. this sounds better. so i'm not exactly in the best of mood right now too. it always sucks to let someone down. especially someone who trust you so much. i aint a good fren. i always thought i was. but now. like always it hurts when reality hits home. time to reflect on yourself bobby pua.

work is not proving to be smooth sailing. i go home to play dota. and i sleep. most of the time not really enuff. and i go to work. you repeat this process. and that's me. this is not the first time i'm complaining about it. but it's just that i aint having the opportunity to do what i wan. the number 1 joy in life is to make people happy and that they appreciate what you have done. i really find joy in that. when you see people smile genuinely and say 'Thank You'

and i'm just not getting all this. when i work in office. all i get is fake thank yous, sometimes even complaining about why its not done up to standard and other stuffs like that. too much pent up frustrations and nobody to talk to. and i'm serious when i mean nobody to talk to. my handphone bill dropped drastically from a usual of $80-$90 to wat is $30-$40 nowadays. sometimes when something good happens to me, or when something bad happens to me, i scroll through my phonebook... and after 3 rounds.. i jus close my phone and forget it.

and to all ppl who knows me... i jus talk and talk and talk. i'm a blabbermouth.

again, sorry. maybe i aint fit to even be known as a best fren. where joys are kept aside and sorrows are left unsaid



i made a wish upon a falling star
posted by bobby @ 1:10 PM   1 comments
Tuesday, October 25, 2005

pls take note
posted by bobby @ 8:49 PM   1 comments
Friday, October 21, 2005
Quote
"Humans are like stars. On the exterior, they are bright and shiny. But, in truth, they are all very lonely. They hang on to prevent from dropping from the sky. "
posted by bobby @ 7:14 PM   2 comments
half day
I'm gonna go down to Kusu Island later on if the weather permits. It has been rather unpredicatable lately. took half day off from my OT at Fort Cannings - The Legends. Did some meeting there last week for all the big shots of the Ministry. Had a picture taken with the Perm Sect. They say he looks like me. Well.... i do have the big shot kinda face.

Sometimes people say i'm damn kuailan. and i do agree i piss people off a fair bit when i'm in that mood. but the beauty of pissing off people is doing it till they dunno how to reply you. and that you even have to make them think about what you said. and by the time they realised that they jus got hit by a pile of shit, u would have already wiped your ass and went out of the building.

So todae i'll try and share with various ways to 'shoot' people.

We would have met alot of stupid people along our journey in life. and the thing is... they really IRRITATE the shit out of me. These stupid people deserves to be shot.. even literally.

  • Are you renting the space in your head? It could be profitable.
  • Next time you get the urge to think...don't.
  • A mind is a terrible thing to waste; I'm glad they didn't waste one on you.
  • If brains were dynamite you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose
  • If idiots could fly this place would be an airport.
  • I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
  • Well aren't you a waste of two billion years of evolution.

And how about the people when comes along and are feeling damn happy about their lives, but you jus lose your pet goldfish or something and jus can't be bothered to entertain them? well, there actually are plenty of ways to rid of them.

  • I can only please one person each day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
  • Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
  • Thank you for not annoying me more than you do.
  • This land is your land. This land is my land. So stay on your land.
  • Never miss a good chance to shut up.
  • Do they ever shut up on your planet?
  • I think someone has to be listening to you for it to be an actual conversation.
  • I don't care where you go, as long as you get lost.
  • I heard you, and so what if the world's ending at noon today, I can't chat with you until tomorrow.

Picture this. You walking down Orchard Road trying to get to Heeren from Wisma, but there are all these people trying to sell you stuffs or asking you to take their survey. One question is all you need to ask them

  • If I throw a stick, will you go away?

And how about those people whom make you embarrassed in front of the crowd making you feel so small when they come up to you and say that they forgot your name. simple

  • Don't worry. I forgot your name too.

Talking about feeling small, there are people who are jus the opposite of it. DAMN HAOLIAN. there are actually alot of this kind of people ard. All around you. They won't allow you to miss them. They are the ones who are jus shouting out to us to 'shoot' them back.

  • When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
  • My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.
  • All things being equal, you lose.
  • Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
  • A cynic is someone who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
  • Those of you who think you know everything are very annoying to those of us who do.
  • You look like shit. Is that in style now?
  • Aww, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?
  • I didn't know regurgitated spam could talk.
  • ''Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit" as said by those incapable of its proper application and as such suffer from it a lot.
  • I'm sorry.. Am I poking holes in your self-esteem bucket?
  • Why don't you slip into something more comfortable...like a coma.
  • If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

The above might sound abit egoistical on your part. But don't forget who are the people getting it from you. They deserve it. You have to give them a taste of their own medicine. and give it at a heavier dosage. Hope you had fun... gonna go start doing some work. Remember not to use any of these at all cost on your boss... You'll be the stupid one.

There have been some politics going on in the office. i've mentioned before that i really hate it. Hate it more then work itself. The reason now is that there's an incompetent person around. (tat's wat his boss things) and that i'll have to cover his job and help him now and then. My boss is not very happy with that as we're from different units. Somehow, more people got involved into this and i feel that it has been blown out of proportion. You'll know if i told you the story lar. its too darn long. haha.

Kusu Island in 2 more hours......

oh.. one last one before i forget. my fave and the easiest to say or type or use.

  • It is just you.

posted by bobby @ 9:47 AM   5 comments
Thursday, October 20, 2005
suffer
I've been suffering for 21 years and 8 months now. Everytime i wake up in the morning, my nose is blocked... and i sneeze like hell everytime i'm done bathing. And in air-con rooms, it gets worse. I'll be the only one making all the 'suck up the air using ur nose' sound. I was never able to sleep in an aircon room, my nose will get all stuffy and its almost impossible to breathe properly let alone sleep. Only when i'm out there in the sun that i'm able to breathe properly... no signs of any blockage.

So by right i'm supposed to love the sun rite? by guess wat? I'm also a sufferer of the ever popular migraine. People get migraine due to too much stress, or not enough sleep. But my triggering factor is (surprise surprise) too much exposure to the Sun. Thanks man. Making my life a living example of irony.

The funny thing was that i never knew what this stuffy nose problem was called in its medical terms despite suffering from it for so long. So today, while travelling to work, i decided that i had to do something about it. So with one hand holding my bag and one hand squeezing my nose to make it more comforstable and trying to balance on the bus without having a third hand to hold any railings, i told myself to check it out in the office what its all about.

So here's what i gathered -


Vasomotor (Idiopathic) Rhinitis

What is vasomotor rhinitis?

''Rhinitis" means inflammation of the nose and nasal membranes. "Vasomotor" means blood vessel forces. The membranes of the nose have an abundant supply of arteries, veins, and capillaries, which have a great capacity for both expansion and constriction. Normally these blood vessels are in a half-constricted, half-open state. But when a person exercises vigorously, his/her hormones of stimulation (i.e., adrenaline) increase. The adrenaline causes constriction or squeezing of the nasal membranes so that the air passages open up and the person breathes more freely. (which is why my nose is never blocked when i go exercising. prolly shud do more of that ya? HAHA)

The opposite takes place when an allergic attack or a ''cold'' develops: The blood vessels expand, the membranes become congested (full of excess blood), and the nose becomes stuffy, or blocked.
In addition to allergies and infections, other events can also cause nasal blood vessels to expand, leading to vasomotor rhinitis. These include psychological stress, inadequate thyroid function, pregnancy, certain anti-high blood pressure drugs, and overuse or prolonged use of decongesting nasal sprays and irritants such as perfumes and tobacco smoke. (hmmmm.....)

In the early stages of each of these disorders, the nasal stuffiness is temporary and reversible. That is, it will improve if the primary cause is corrected. However, if the condition persists for a long enough period, the blood vessels lose their capacity to constrict. ( so now means i got disabled blood vessels... knn...) They become somewhat like varicose veins.

They fill up when the patient lies down and when he/she lies on one side, the lower side becomes congested. The congestion often interferes with sleep. (this is what i hate most! and this is why u always see me rolling around in my bed. and prolly explained why my bed gave way 2 months ago. really hate this. i cannot sleep properly. mind u. this happens even in non-aircon rooms. if in aircon room. den i'm gone lar. both nose will be blocked and i can only breathe using my mouth. and in the aircon room. my mouth will be fricking dry in less den 5 mins. so in a non-aircon room, if i sleep on the side, one of my nose will be blocked and i'm forced to move to the other side. if i time it correctly. i'm able to clear both of my nose for a short period by lying down on the center. very very technical indeed. but i'm well trained for almost 22 yrs. haa)

So it is helpful for stuffy patients to sleep with the head of the bed elevated two to four inches accomplish this by placing a brick or two under each castor of the bedposts at the head of the bed. (well, sad to say, this leads to another problem. i use 2 thick pillows to slp. so that i can get the breathing properly mode. but due to the improperly positioning of the head, my neck will ache the next morning! somehow i just cannot have the best of both worlds man. You guys, come on! stop complaining about life lar.... look at my state man. haaaaaa)

How does it occur?

Vasomotor rhinitis is caused by tissue in the nose that is sensitive to changes in environmental conditions such as temperature, humidity, and the presence of irritants. Examples of irritants are smoke, dryness, smog, and perfume. In response to these conditions or irritants, the nose makes more mucous. ( i think its my sensitive nose that has made me such a sensitive person. that's the only good thing that i can make out of it.)

What are the symptoms?

The common symptom is a runny nose. Unlike allergic rhinitis, there is usually no itching or sneezing. You may have slight nasal congestion. (SLIGHT MY ASS MAN!!!!)

How is it diagnosed?

There is no specific test for the diagnosis of vasomotor rhinitis. Your health care provider reviews your medical and family history. The diagnosis is suspected from your history and when other possible causes of symptoms have been eliminated.
Your health care provider may swab the lining of your nose to obtain a sample of mucus. The mucus will be examined for the presence of allergy cells (eosinophils). These cells are rarely present in people who have vasomotor rhinitis. However, they are not always present in people whose rhinitis is caused by allergies, so the test is not always helpful. (wah. thanks man. damn helpful)

How is it treated?

If treatment is necessary, nasal steroid or ipratropium sprays are usually effective. Use the spray according to the directions to prevent symptoms. (which means i gotta stick things up my nose so that i can feel better for awhile?!?! help me... i need help....)

How long will the effects last?

The condition is usually lifelong. (ok... now this sentence somehow feels like it sucks big time to me) However, you may reduce the symptoms by avoiding the irritants in your environment that seem to cause problems for you.

What can be done to help prevent vasomotor rhinitis?

There is no known prevention. ( at least i know that i did not dint do anything to get this shit)

i think my nose beats any expressway along singapore as the most congested passage at anytime of the day man. no fight. anyone facing the same problem?? let me know and let us suffer together. haha.


posted by bobby @ 3:35 PM   0 comments
Monday, October 10, 2005
something i wanna do
if there's one thing that i wanna see all over again. i really really wanna see what i wrote for my O levels english composition, the letter writing.. the comprehension, and the oral... how the hell did i secure that kind of result for my english?!!? that was weird. the other subjects were understandable cos i did put in a certain level of studying for them. but english?!

i was from a totally chinese speaking family. in primary 1, the english i knew cudden even form a sentence. i spoke in broken english. but i was put into a english environment. St Mike's was filled with boys who were brought up in english speaking family.. they watched chn 5 at home. listened to class95 in their parents car to sch..

i watched chn 8 drama serials, and liang popo every monday. walked to school with my late grandpa hand in hand. (sch wasn't that far of cos.) lunch was simple porridge with canned food at my grandpa's grocery shop, where all his customers either spoke dialect or chinese. still no contact with english.

there was this other chap. he used to top the class in english. but i held out my own. i topped the class in chinese. haha! this continued till primary 3. my godma tutored me english. forced me to read all the enid blyton books and also the newspaper. that was when i started reading the newpaper. one weird avenue that i got some help in english was actually soccer. my love for soccer was so immense that i read up alot. On the players, on the history of the game, on the different countries.

my english really struggled in primary 1. but it slowly picked up.. bit by bit. was not until secondary 3 that i was more or less comfortable with the language... be it speaking or writing. until the extend that i think in english nowadays. and if you think in that particular language, of cos u're be more inclined to speak it better. my sec 4 chinese teacher always scolded me for my lack of diligence in the subject. saying that i never worked on my strong foundation. said that i 'finished eating my old rice' in chinese. haha! work it out urself.

and now, my chinese is suffering really badly. i would love to work on it now. chinese papers are proving to be a chore!! 10mins for an article. i have to slowly scan all the words and work out what they mean. geezz. i can't even bring myself to join superhost! hahaha! chinese cannot leh.

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sidetrack abit. a story to tell

a dog and a cat were very good friends. the cat left the dog. and the dog became very sad. the cat left for quite a long time. disappearing. poof! so the dog was feeling sad for a long time. but as time passes. the sad feeling was kinda imbued into the dog. it was normal for him already. he lived with it. however. the dog met the cat at the jungle gathering. they dint talk. the dog felt worst. they met at another gathering. the cat invited alot of ppl to its house. and dog went along. they nv really talk agn. but even if they did. it was kinda superficial. so the dog left the house and felt sad agn.

in the meantime, the cat also made good friends with a fox.

some days later, the cat came back to the dog. of cos the dog was elated. things were going back to normal. however. this is the weird part. the dog feel sad agn. even though he gets to talk to the cat. and also the fox is bullying the cat. pulling off all the cunning stunts that foxes are capable of. which made the cat sad. which in relation, made the dog damn sad also. but the problem is that the cat is not angry with the fox. hah!

of cos we all know that foxes and dogs are not the best of friends...

nowadays the dog also feeling sad. cos the dog's mind drifts off to think abt the cat.

so was the dog better off not thinking abt the cat? why is the dog sad even when the cat came back? the dog seems to be lost in emotion. can control the mind to not think?

and if he could, the dog would bite off the foxes's legs.

how?? how about the story?? are you lost?? there's only 3 characters involved. not so easy to be lost ya? what if you are the dog?

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posted by bobby @ 11:20 PM   2 comments
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Name: bobby
Home: Dorset, Island, Singapore
About Me: Man in Pain
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